i would like to take a vacation right now.

i am sorry for being a crap friend to everyone lately, and i know it's cost me. i am now completely out of the loop, and it does bother me, but starting saturday, this will change.

but i am also glad i have made some new friends along the way :)

The Exact Moment

And I've got platinum vision and a tin foil touch

finally, i am finished!

sometimes i eat grass

i am so hungry i could eat grass and people right now. why would i join this stupid fucking fast?!?

and i have no condititioner. *angry face*

NO FOOD AND NO TEA MAKES ME GO CRAZY.

the tide is out but i can see, it is coming in

Lily: “life is full of hard bits, but inbetween the hard bits there are lots of lovely bits. Jarrod is one of those lovely bits”

Jarrod’s dad: "jarrod?"

Lily: "you just dont know him"

Jarrod's dad: "i know my own family! i know him better than you, at least."

Lily:" what is jarrod's favorite animal?"

Jarrod's dad: "easy, giraffe."

Lily: "no...."

Jarrod's dad: "octopus?"

Lily: "no."

Jarrod's dad: "oh, cheetah, then."

Lily: "no.....it's an eagle."

Jarrod's dad: "an eagle??"

Lily: "yes."

Jarrod's dad looks up at Lily and smiles.

It's all over, and I'm standing pretty, In the dust that was a city

And if you listen closely.....

1. um, obviusly i should have never trusted anyone who chose another girl over me. i, mean really, why ask out a girl if you dont like her? i just dont get it....was i just a rebound or what? you say you tried so hard for to get that spark.....i would have definatly not done the things i did if i thought you only liked me becuase i liked you. and, really, its not like with other guys i have felt when he doesnt like me....it really really felt so right. it felt like it was going to last. i felt something i havent really felt in two years, and now i found out that none of that even matters, because you never liked me, and you never will. at least now i know, so i can get over you, not like i have for the past year and a half. but now,i am so unbelievably scared that in every relationship from now on, a guy will never actually like me, and i'll always be wondering that if i kiss him or hold his hand.
   
2. tomorrow is valentine's day! and i got transformers valentines for everyone! i am making a list right now! tomorrow and will go home, and watch depressing love movies, and throw choclates at the screen everytime the guy says,"i love you" i will yell,"LIAR" ,it will be great..... or i might rent eagle vs shark, and watch it with daniel, and wallow in our single misery..
3. i love my new haircut!!!! i love how i can make it spiky and edgy or pretty and smooth, or in a mohawk....its great! i think it suits me..
4. when i started this list, i had way more things going on, but i never finished that blog...and when i came back to it, i realized my feelings had changed over many things.
5. i dont want to get into this, but i really think you both need to just talk to each other, it will make things much easier for everyone, for starters, i wont feel like i have to divide my time up between you two. i am quite sure that if you two talked it would all get sorted out, you both could realize what you did wrong, and forgive each other.
6. i am sorry its so awkward. i dont really mean for it to be, and i hope its not this way forever.
7. why the HELL are you talking to me again?! i just dont understand.....i dont want to be friends, or else it will happen again.
8. Happy Birthday ANNA! I know its actually on saturday, but i thought i'd get it out!
9. thanks you to all you who have neen so good to me this past week! sh, al, dbh, ld, jc, rr.
10. i am so glad you are feeling better! i was so worried!
11. i am so very sorry, much of this list almost came out like honesty statements.

two three no four heartbeats in 1.5 seconds

i was on flickr today, and i found this letter/ journal entry thing. i thought it was the cutest thing ever. very important things I wanted to share with you in 2007 (but never did) two three no four heartbeats in 1.5 seconds, drink your coffee and don’t spill it in the sink, what time is it? the bus number 21 comes once a day at 8:02 am. 500 golden coins for diet coke. Two years from now I will be speaking perfect german and buying my coke with one silver coin. ten notebooks and two math books, "advanced math class requires hard work" and a pair of strong arms or I wont get home in time to sleep the day away. Mr lard drank my drinks and ate my food, and Ill forgive but not forget. Keep your nose out of my business. At night I dream about people ive never spoken to, at 20:30pm I dream about gently caressing noses with chainsaws.Lets exchange some more awkward words, we will both feel less uncomfortable with time, minus plus minus equals plus, brilliant or not? Im wearing a nice pair of shoes, you'll like them, I was thinking of you when I bought them, I wonder if you’ve seen them, my shampoo smells like passion fruit and only for 19.90, I think of you when I wash my hair. I still drink vanilla milk and like death cab for cutie and still calculate everything I do and still scribble childish faces on my back-hand and I still havent found a language I can speak fluently. This is my heart's notebook and it's got wet in the rain, but it's also reached its last page, lets take out blank papers and paint some awesome stuff.